- DEFENSE
McCain Potatoes will protect mealtime from the axis of ‘evil-doers’ -- namely boredom and repetition.
- ENVIRONMENT
Deliciously different McCain Potatoes means a clean plate, free of leftovers that compromise the fragile ecosystem of the dining table.
- ECONOMY
When you buy more McCain Potatoes, it creates more jobs. For us. What did you expect? Another stimulus check?
- ENERGY
We’re not afraid to tell big oil “enough is enough.” That’s why every variety of McCain Potatoes is 0g trans fat.
- EDUCATION
With McCain Potatoes, there will be no fry left behind. We promise.
- DEMOCRACY
McCain promises to stand up against all dic-taters and produce only good, honest potatoes.
- ETHICS
McCain will stand up for right vs. wrong. And serving the same old, boring potatoes is just plain wrong.
- FAITH
If you insist on waiting for some other brand of potatoes to wow you, we suggest praying.
- IMMIGRATION
Anyone who wishes to migrate from their current brand to McCain Potatoes can do so freely, and without any red tape.